J A Garrett

Curiously nerdy posts.

The one where I get married.

My apologies for not writing much. At least this time, over the past few weeks, I’ve had a pretty legit reason for it. I don’t often delve into specifics of my personal life on here, but if there was ever a time for it, I think this one definitely merits it.

You see, I got married last weekend.

This is my wife. No, really. She is.

It’s amazing how fast someone’s life can turn around, honestly. I personally believe that I am definitely a great example of this. No, I’ve never been an alcoholic, or battled any other sort of serious addiction that most people associate with being at the bottom of the barrel (unless you count soda, until recently).

But nonetheless, two years ago I was unemployed, and overweight, with nothing going my way. I applied for tons of jobs every day, with no luck. Whenever I got an interview, I always came up short, for some reason or another. But I also had a bigger problem.

I was lonely. Awfully lonely. I’m not a terribly social person to begin with, as I am a classic introvert, but I’d recently had a really nasty exchange with a good friend of many years, and suddenly had a huge social void in my life. Another friend I spent time with, eventually decided that they didn’t want to hang out with me as much as I liked hanging out with them. By that point, I didn’t go out much for fun. My days involved job hunting, applying, sitting and waiting for a call, and playing games on Steam with friends. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a co-founder/administrator of a gaming community.

And then, one random night, it was D&D night. I was the dungeonmaster, with a few good buddies playing. A friend’s wife also enjoyed listening in, while another brought in another person who was interested in listening along as I narrated the story for my players. She was quiet, at first. So much so that I didn’t even realize that she was there.  But afterwards, we hung out and chatted while playing another game.

Little did I know at the time that the girl who’d been listening to me would become my wife someday.

A few days after that, I was browsing facebook a little, and saw her pop up in the “people you may know” window. I shrugged, and added her. Shortly after, we started chatting. We talked for a long time… probably 2 or 3 hours. I don’t even remember exactly what we talked about, except that it was nice to have someone to talk to. By the time it got late, I wished her good night, and just assumed that it was a good chat out of nowhere, but wouldn’t go anywhere beyond that. She was a bit younger than me, very pretty, and had plenty of interests that probably didn’t include me. Regardless, the next night I made sure to be close by my computer, just in case she came around again.

And she did. And the next night after that, too. And so on. We got to know each other really well in a hurry. It’s amazing, really, how quickly I got comfortable with her. I’m good at being friendly and making acquaintances, but have a hard time making close friends, in part because of how guarded I can be. Despite once swearing that I’d never get caught in another relationship with a girl I met over the internet (I’d had a few bad experiences with that, for various reasons), I figured out that I was once again caught in one.

After realizing that, I decided that, rather than willfully keep secrets from her, I would be completely open and honest with where I was in life. I figured that the truth would probably ruin what I had, but I wasn’t willing to keep secrets for someone I cared for so much. I told her the truth. Every ugly bit of it. The part where I didn’t have a job. The part where I was on the wrong side of my 20s. The part where I was mostly living with my parents.

Shockingly, that didn’t dissuade her from wanting more of me. Before long, I traveled to Colorado to visit her. It was one of the best weekends of my life. We spent the next year going back and forth like that, visiting each other some weekends, with nightly Skype sessions as our lifeline otherwise. Until she came to visit last Christmas, and I had a realization. I didn’t want her to leave. I couldn’t see a life worth living without her, and saw a life brimming with possibilities with her. I asked her to marry me over sushi*. She said yes.

*Our first ever date was a sushi dinner. We came full circle.

Our venue. Pretty.

Fast forward to last week. Weddings, even really small ones, are a TON of stress and pretty expensive. We set out to be as cheap as possible, and the wedding still turned out to be thousands of dollars. Not to mention, as the picture above shows, it was supposed to be an outdoor wedding, and it was raining an hour beforehand.

But you know what? It stopped, the sun came out, and all the clouds melted away. The ceremony came out amazing, and I’m now married to the love of my life. And we met playing games. On the internet. Those of you in long distance relationships that mean something to you, take solace. They CAN end well, if you work at it.

Guys who get by on something other than their looks (like me), take solace. You CAN get that pretty girl to love you. Hint: It helps to make her laugh a lot.

Her, right after she smashed me with cake.

I’ve gone from that loser with nothing going for me, to having a nice job, my own place in a nice neighborhood, and a gorgeous wife. All in the span of a couple of years. Things can change for the better, and quickly, if you just stay positive and be kind to those that you meet.

Life is good.



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This entry was posted on May 22, 2014 by in it's personal. and tagged , , , , .
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